Chapter Two - 3
3
After the usual performance of Pavane for a Dead Princess, Kimiyo went back to the reading room to get her things. She left Kirisame in the entryway. Kimiyo wasn't sure how long they'd spent together. But she was sure it was a long time. It had been a long, pleasant moment that hadn't ever grown dull. Life was so short. So short... Kimiyo remembered the sparkling chandelier hanging in the entryway. She could always remember pleasant things.
She opened the noisy door as quietly as possible. The room was dark. Kimiyo picked up the bag she'd left on the table.
Suddenly, someone grabbed her arm from behind. Kimiyo tried to let out a startled scream, but the assailant immediately covered her mouth. She struggled to escape, but she was held firmly in place and could hardly resist, only using up her strength in vain. Her wrists hurt. Kimiyo frantically struggled and turned her neck behind her. It was Kito.
“Be quiet. Please be quiet.”
Kito was pleading with her. Kimiyo obeyed him, her body stiffening.
“I'm sorry. I have no choice.”
Kito held Kimiyo down and locked the door to the reading room with one outstretched hand. He dragged her away and stood in a position where they wouldn't be seen by anyone looking in through the glass window on the door. Kimiyo shivered. She stared at the pitch black curtains. She looked at the extinguished fluorescent lights. The sun had already set and the room was dark.
Someone was approaching the door. She could hear the sound of approaching footsteps. It must have been Kirisame, making his closing rounds before heading home. Kimiyo raised her voice to call out to him as best as she could. But her mouth was still covered, so she couldn't speak. She wanted to stomp on the floor, but Kito was stopping her from doing that, too. Kirisame seemed to be trying to open the door from the outside. But the rattling of the door stopped before long as he appeared to realize it was locked. Kimiyo shed a tear. Open the door. Open the door. Open the door. Open the door. Open the door...
Kirisame's footsteps moved away. Kimiyo had a feeling that if she lost Kirisame there, she would lose everything.
Kirisame was gone.
“Please don't cry.” She hadn't realized that Kito had placed the dagger in his hand against her neck. “I know this isn't the most clever way to go about things, but I hope you can forgive me. You won't raise your voice?”
Kimiyo nodded. Kito's hand left her mouth.
“What are you doing?”
“I've realized a terrible secret about this world. So I'm going to close it. I need to close the circle of reincarnation.”
“You're insane.”
Kito knit his eyebrows.
“It's the world that's insane.”
“How did you get that dagger? Only Kirisame and the others knew where it was.”
“There are six daggers in this world. Didn't I tell you that already? This is one of them. You see? Inside the engraving of the seven-pointed star, there's a roman numeral 'IV'. The one in the library should have a 'I' on it. In other words, the dagger you saw isn't the one I have now.”
“Did you have that with you this whole time?”
“Yes.”
“What are you going to do to me?”
“We need to return to the star. This time, everything will be brought to an end.”
“Everything's already ended!” Kimiyo screamed, denying everything. Her voice reverberated throughout the darkened room. Kito panicked and covered Kimiyo's mouth. The dagger's blade touched her neck, leaving a thin cut on her pale skin. A lukewarm liquid ran down her neck. The blood flowed over her collarbone and onto her chest. Kito took out a white handkerchief and wiped at the blood apologetically.
“Don't touch me.”
“I didn't meant to hurt you.”
“Don't touch me.”
“Why does this always happen? I don't understand...”
“This is completely your fault. You're so selfish.”
“You don't understand anything, do you?”
“What is there to understand?”
Kito didn't respond. He stood there in the darkness for a while, motionless as a doll.
Pavane for a Dead Princess had ended long ago. All that remained in the library was silence. Had Utamika left already? Kirisame may have left, too. Was there anyone else in the library? Kimiyo didn't know. All she knew for sure was that she and Kito would remain alone together for a while longer. Kimiyo patted at her neck. It was slick with blood. It wasn't too painful, but it did ache.
“Let's wait until nightfall.” Kito took a seat. “In a bit, this place will be as quiet as the end of the world. You can sit down, too.”
Kimiyo had been offered a seat, but she couldn't bring herself to sit down. However, Kito pulled the hem of her dress, and she wound up in a chair. He placed his dagger on the table. Unlike the chandelier, the gleam on its blade was dark and heavy. In the darkness, the dagger had the shape of a cross.
“Have you ever wanted to be reborn as someone else?”
Kito asked her that.
“No.”
“That's wise. But there are plenty of people in this world who'd love to be reincarnated. Many people who complain about the one life they're given. There's only one world, and we only get one life. That's what people are dissatisfied by. Maybe humans just aren't suited to living. We can't keep up with the pace of the world. Some of us would like to be born anew and live our lives all over again if we could. But no matter how much we wish for it, it will never come true, and we'll all die. That's the rule.”
“What rule? No matter how strict the rule is, there are loads of people who find enjoyment in their lives. If you just obsess over death and the end from the beginning, of course you'll get nothing out of it.”
“It's like you're arguing with yourself. You find yourself facing certain death. Do you find any enjoyment in that?”
Kimiyo stared at Kito. She shot a quick glance down at the dagger. If she went for it, she could reach it. She envisioned it in her mind, trying to figure out just how quickly she could snatch it from Kito. In her imagination, Kimiyo succeeded in grabbing the dagger and stabbing Kito with it. She did it over and over and over. Then she'd run and ask Kirisame for help, and Kirisame would look at her, all covered in blood, and say that she was beautiful.
“Well, let's get going.”
Kito took the dagger back and stood up. He peeked through the glass window into the hallway, then unlocked the door. He opened the door without hesitation, making a loud noise. Kimiyo was grabbed by the arm and taken from the room.
“Where are we going?”
“I need a place big enough to draw the seven-pointed star.”
“The library?”
Kito nodded and went on ahead of her. He walked down the hallway and into the room lined with bookshelves. The library was quiet. Even the sound of footsteps was gone, having been absorbed somewhere. When she looked up, she saw the endless rows of shelves. The library in the middle of the night was a vision of fantasy.
“The bookshelves will get in the way a bit, but it can't be helped. You don't want to sleep outside, right?”
“Not if I get a say in the matter.”
Kito gave a small nod and a troubled smile. He straightened his back, pulled a book off the shelf, and tossed it to the floor, then another, then another. The fallen books scattered on the floor, face up, face down, or lying open, spine up or spine down. The air was filling with dust.
“Don't ruin the books.”
“It's better than ruining ourselves.”
“Kirisame and Utamika worked really hard to arrange those books.”
“I'll apologize to them later. Will that be okay?”
Kimiyo decided not to push the matter. Kito was behaving so erratically that she was afraid to say anything. Kimiyo looked to the door, then the window. The windows were curtained, so escaping that way would be a challenge. If she wanted to escape, she'd need to go through a door. There was one door straight behind her and one to the side. There was quite a bit of distance between them.
“You're going to help me take these books out.”
“No I'm not.”
“We're going to draw a seven-pointed star with the books. Line them up on the floor to trace the shape of the star. This is for your sake, too.”
Kimiyo didn't respond. Kito gave up and began quietly scattering the books on his own. Going to the social sciences section, he tossed out the books in this order: politics, law, economics, finance, statistics, sociology, education, customs, ethnic studies, national defense, and military affairs. Then he moved to the natural sciences section and threw down astronomy, astrochemistry, earth sciences, geography, geology, biochemistry, general biology, botany, and zoology, again in that order. Books had piled up on the floor and around Kimiyo.
“Speaking of seven-pointed stars,” Kimiyo asked, “I wasn't the only one who died in 1971, was I?”
“Did you check?”
Kito stopped moving and turned back to her.
“Yes. I wasn't the only one who died. You did, too. Hey. Just who the hell are you? Even if we do reincarnate, it's even stranger if you died with me in 1971. There's the mystery of how the dagger got into the star, and calculating your age, it doesn't fit. You didn't die in 1971. The man who died with me in the star wasn't you.”
“What do you mean, calculating my age?”
“If we died together in 1971, then our ages must be the same after we're reborn. How old are you?”
“26.”
“I'm 18.”
“There's nothing strange about that.”
Kito said this without expression.
“You aren't really Kito, are you!?”
Kimiyo pressed him.
“I am Kito.”
“Who? Just who are you?”
They silently stared at each other for a while.
Kito slowly opened his hands.
“You tell me... just who the hell am I?”
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